Turns out it was Dave Grohl the whole time. You sneaky pretentious rock god.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Jim Cut The Lights
This blog is dedicated to unearthing all of the conspiracy surrounding super bowl XLVII.
So the first question is who is responsible for the outage?
Beyonce?
Many people have suspected Beyonce and/or the halftime show to be the cause of the power outage. Which would actually be quite innocuous, using a bit of extra power to handle all the flashing lights and extra sounds from the halftime show could conceivably blow the system. However there have been several reports that dispute these claims saying things like "the halftime show ran on its own generator" and "the stadium actually used less power during halftime with the house lights dimmed." There was enough noise on the subject that the NFL issued a formal statement:
Exhibit A:
Now just because it wasn't her power usage causing the outage, does not mean Beyonce was necessarily innocent. She could have easily been involved with triggering the outage plan by making a specific signal (see exhibit A for an example), but of course she wouldn't want the outage to affect her show so she made it a condition that the outage happen after halftime in return for being complicit in the scheme. The other reason I would suspect her is she is the last person anyone would suspect! Everybody loves them some Beyonce. Her defense is impregnable. But now this begs the question, who was she working for?
CBS? Nabisco?
It seems that Nabisco knew this was coming? They claim to have come up with this in a few minutes after the outage happened. But let's be honest, who was working on Super Bowl Sunday? Certainly nobody talented and creative enough to come up with the above tagline. That's just pure brilliance. Nabisco must have planned ahead, implying that they were at least one company in league with the broadcasters.
Need more evidence?
Jim Harbaugh... Mastermind?
So anyone who has witnessed the incredible turnaround of the San Francisco 49ers from two years ago since they hired Jim Harbaugh, can tell you that he is a genius. This guy makes magic happen. He not only always has another trick up his sleeve, but he is very influential when it comes to other people. This makes him a great football coach, and also a perfect conspirator.
Here is the theory. I believe that Harbaugh had been planning this whole thing since he got the gig at San Fran. He was gonna make the super bowl eventually, then try to win in the most dramatic way possible. Not content with a simple super bowl ring, Harbaugh wanted to engineer the greatest comeback in NFL history on the greatest stage possible. So how did he plan to do this? Play calling.
Play calling is a powerful and often overlooked aspect of a team's success in the NFL. Everyone always points to player's athleticism and decision making and ability as the reason for a team's success. But every NFL athlete is incredibly good at what they do. And anyone who has ever played Madden NFL can tell you that even if your team is filled with superstars, calling the wrong play in the wrong situation will lead to disaster. Having a top quarterback in the NFL is great, but without your superstar coach, you could end up with your worst statistical season in 5 years (cue to Drew Brees nodding sadly). The loss of Sean Payton turned the saints from a Super Bowl caliber team to a 7-9 team with the worst defensive season in league history.
Exhibit C:
Harbaugh introduced CBS into the plan so that he could have a scapegoat in case he was discovered. CBS has a much more obvious motive, as well as more resources and opportunity to pull off a stunt like this. And I think they did all the dirty work. But the idea was planted by Harbaugh. Mind you I don't think CBS realizes the idea was planted by Jim, but of course it subtly was. But the next question is why cut the power? Why not just use halftime as the turning point?
Here is where things get interesting. I suspect that Harbaugh wanted the outage to happen at halftime, or just afterwards (if I were him I would want it to happen as the ball kicks off to begin the second half, for artistic quality). But CBS didn't want to piss off Beyonce (and I don't blame them) so they delayed/and or bungled it so it didn't happen until a few minutes into the half. Which to Harbaugh's chagrin was after Jacoby Jones took advantage of Harbaugh's relaxed defense to score on the opening kickoff.
Also I suspect Harbaugh was taking advantage of this silly idea of Momentum in sports which we all seem to believe in despite mounds of statistical evidence to the contrary. A break like the power outage is a great opportunity to point toward as the momentum shift in the game. Not to mention the power went out on his side of the stadium, leaving Jim and the 49ers free to do all sorts of questionable things without intense media scrutiny or audio pickups available. This also was not the first time that Jim had tried this.
Exhibit D:
So the last question is why didn't it work this time? I think the answer is that Jim did not account for his brother John to be the opponent in the big game. And I'm sure that John at least had an inkling of Jim's scheming. Even if it was something Jim mentioned in passing when they were kids. Allowing him to plan ahead, take serious advantage of the shoddy play calling in the first half he knew would be coming (I bet he personally told Jacoby Jones to run that kickoff out of the end zone no matter how deep it was kicked). And put himself in a position to preserve a lead against a superior team.
So the first question is who is responsible for the outage?
Beyonce?
Many people have suspected Beyonce and/or the halftime show to be the cause of the power outage. Which would actually be quite innocuous, using a bit of extra power to handle all the flashing lights and extra sounds from the halftime show could conceivably blow the system. However there have been several reports that dispute these claims saying things like "the halftime show ran on its own generator" and "the stadium actually used less power during halftime with the house lights dimmed." There was enough noise on the subject that the NFL issued a formal statement:
"There's no indication at all that this was caused by the halftime show. Absolutely not. I know that's been out there that this halftime show had something to do with it. That is not the case," Goodell said." -CBS NewsThis makes me think the conspiracy runs much deeper.
Exhibit A:
 |
| A tribute to the jigga man? or a signal to a saboteur? |
CBS? Nabisco?
Now obviously super bowl ads are a big deal, generating millions of dollars of revenue for CBS and hopefully bringing in more customers/revenue for the companies who pay this ridiculous money for an ad. There certainly was a monetary motive for a company and/or CBS to ensure that more ads get played and the super bowl lasts as long as humanly possible. What better way to do it than suspend game action for 34 minutes with nothing to do but speculate and watch commercials?
Exhibit B:
It seems that Nabisco knew this was coming? They claim to have come up with this in a few minutes after the outage happened. But let's be honest, who was working on Super Bowl Sunday? Certainly nobody talented and creative enough to come up with the above tagline. That's just pure brilliance. Nabisco must have planned ahead, implying that they were at least one company in league with the broadcasters.
Need more evidence?
"the power outage, which was obviously an elaborate CBS plot to get 30 more minutes of highly rated television." - Bill Barnwell, from ESPN's GrantlandCBS also only lost audio from half of their commentators, strategically keeping one of their correspondents online to catch the "action" or as I like to think document the excuse of the power outage. Why else do you think only half of the stadium went out? If the whole thing went dark, and everyone at home lost their feed, then we would all suspect a terrorist attack or worse and widespread panic would ensue. Only cutting half the lights is further evidence it was planned.
"CBS said all commercial commitments for the broadcast were being honored. The network sold out its allotment of advertising at $3.8 million per 30-second spot." - Fox NewsSo we've established that CBS had a motive, backing, and a trigger man (or trigger Sasha Fierce) to execute this job. However, I still think someone else was the mastermind behind it all, CBS is not nearly creative/brilliant enough (they are airing the 26th season of Survivor... 26!! how unoriginal can you be?) to come up with something this elaborate, they would've cut the whole power or not thought of it at all. So once again I have to suspect the conspiracy runs deeper...
Jim Harbaugh... Mastermind?
So anyone who has witnessed the incredible turnaround of the San Francisco 49ers from two years ago since they hired Jim Harbaugh, can tell you that he is a genius. This guy makes magic happen. He not only always has another trick up his sleeve, but he is very influential when it comes to other people. This makes him a great football coach, and also a perfect conspirator.
"He told The Associated Press that Superdome technical staff were working more than hour after the outage to determine what caused it but still didn't know." -Fox NewsAs outfoxed as they were, the technicians were either on the payroll, or Harbaugh is just that good. I'm liable to believe either.
"early indications from Entergy, the local electric company, are that the power outage was the result of a problem in one of the two feeder lines that power the stadium from an external substation. When an abnormality was detected, the system automatically shut off power to the west half of the stadium" - USA TodayAn abnormality? Sounds like Jim. Not to mention the external substation would make it easy to pull this off. Just plant someone at that power station and let him go crazy with some bolt cutters. Nobody would suspect Harbaugh, safe with his constipated grin on the sidelines at the Superdome.
Here is the theory. I believe that Harbaugh had been planning this whole thing since he got the gig at San Fran. He was gonna make the super bowl eventually, then try to win in the most dramatic way possible. Not content with a simple super bowl ring, Harbaugh wanted to engineer the greatest comeback in NFL history on the greatest stage possible. So how did he plan to do this? Play calling.
Play calling is a powerful and often overlooked aspect of a team's success in the NFL. Everyone always points to player's athleticism and decision making and ability as the reason for a team's success. But every NFL athlete is incredibly good at what they do. And anyone who has ever played Madden NFL can tell you that even if your team is filled with superstars, calling the wrong play in the wrong situation will lead to disaster. Having a top quarterback in the NFL is great, but without your superstar coach, you could end up with your worst statistical season in 5 years (cue to Drew Brees nodding sadly). The loss of Sean Payton turned the saints from a Super Bowl caliber team to a 7-9 team with the worst defensive season in league history.
''Or maybe Sean Payton called in the outage, bounty [gate] part two.'' - Fox NewsI suspect that Harbaugh was subtly and only slightly sabotaging his own team through his play calling, and then after the power outage, resumed his normal dominant play calling. How else do you explain the dramatic turnaround of the 49ers after the outage?
Exhibit C:
- San Fransisco scored 80% of their points after the outage
- 58% of their yardage total came after the outage.
- They were -2 in turnovers before and +1 after the outage.
- They averaged 9.96 yards per play after the outage vs 5.25 yards per play before. (EPSN.com)
Harbaugh introduced CBS into the plan so that he could have a scapegoat in case he was discovered. CBS has a much more obvious motive, as well as more resources and opportunity to pull off a stunt like this. And I think they did all the dirty work. But the idea was planted by Harbaugh. Mind you I don't think CBS realizes the idea was planted by Jim, but of course it subtly was. But the next question is why cut the power? Why not just use halftime as the turning point?
Here is where things get interesting. I suspect that Harbaugh wanted the outage to happen at halftime, or just afterwards (if I were him I would want it to happen as the ball kicks off to begin the second half, for artistic quality). But CBS didn't want to piss off Beyonce (and I don't blame them) so they delayed/and or bungled it so it didn't happen until a few minutes into the half. Which to Harbaugh's chagrin was after Jacoby Jones took advantage of Harbaugh's relaxed defense to score on the opening kickoff.
Also I suspect Harbaugh was taking advantage of this silly idea of Momentum in sports which we all seem to believe in despite mounds of statistical evidence to the contrary. A break like the power outage is a great opportunity to point toward as the momentum shift in the game. Not to mention the power went out on his side of the stadium, leaving Jim and the 49ers free to do all sorts of questionable things without intense media scrutiny or audio pickups available. This also was not the first time that Jim had tried this.
Exhibit D:
"The 49ers were involved in the last NFL game delayed by a power outage when a transformer blew outside Candlestick Park before a December game against Pittsburgh late in the 2011 season. The 49ers went on to rout the Steelers." - Fox NewsSounds suspiciously like a practice run to me. The 49ers went on to rout the Steelers? Plan successful, but nobody cares anymore because the game was relatively meaningless. The super bowl though? would be talked about for generations.
So the last question is why didn't it work this time? I think the answer is that Jim did not account for his brother John to be the opponent in the big game. And I'm sure that John at least had an inkling of Jim's scheming. Even if it was something Jim mentioned in passing when they were kids. Allowing him to plan ahead, take serious advantage of the shoddy play calling in the first half he knew would be coming (I bet he personally told Jacoby Jones to run that kickoff out of the end zone no matter how deep it was kicked). And put himself in a position to preserve a lead against a superior team.
The evidence is really indisputable. Jim Harbaugh had an elaborate scheme to become the most famous NFL coach in the history of the league (and he might still do it). But was foiled by his brother. You can't make this stuff up.
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